Mechanic's Browlite - Special attack powered up!

In 1953, the boundless joy of the Eisenhower administration notwithstanding, there was a lot of extra anger in people's brains. Yes, radio was fantastic at the time, people had cool looking appliances and everyone lived in mid century modern houses, but there was still a lot to be angry about. All cars looked like they were made of boobs. Television was, for the most part, lame... all three channels of it. There were only two haircuts available: "man" and "lady". People of all races were forced to become white at gunpoint. America was on the brink of a psychiatric armageddon. Enter the Anger beam Browlite.
The Anger beam Browlite worked on the principal of Psychic Funneling and Expurgation or something. The device was worn on the front of the head just above the eyes, where it blended in seamlessly with the wearer's eyebrows. Two sensors on each arm of the glasses were gently forced through the skull and inserted into the temporal and occipital lobes of the brain, where anger is stored. The simple electronics inside the device would turn the psychic energy into heat and light. Also some blood. At will, the wearer, or "Angerer", could release anger in the form of a not-really-focused beam that projected from between the eyes in a wide arc. The resulting beam burned with the fury of ten billion suns or 900 degrees, whichever came first.

The heat and duration of the Anger Beam varied in proportion with the user's anger, and at an inverse proportion to the user's rationality. Inexperienced users could easily ignite paper or wood just by thinking about grammar school. Senator Strom Thurmond was said to have burned a hole in the universe upon failing to find his name mentioned in The Kinsey Report. He then went on to inflict his revenge upon the nation until 2003, when the last portion of his carcass finally finished dying.

Novelty Mart, the merchandiser of the Anger Browlite, was directly responsible for the creation of millions of supervillains virtually overnight. By 1954, it had become a secret headquarters for global evildoers, changing it's name to Novelty & Evil Mart. Having chosen the price point of $2.98 for their hot-selling instrument of evil, Novelty & Evil Mart found themselves unable to absorb the cost of moving their facilities to a subterranean cavern or hollowed-out volcano. Cost-benefit analysis forced them to remain at their old address of 59 East 8th Street, new York, although the location was thereafter listed as "secret".

All Anger Browlites ceased to function in 1967, when everything became peaceful and groovy forever more.


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