Death at Sea - Murder Most Moist!

Joke #1: "See? I came back to my room after dinner, and I found this dead man in my bed! He must have climbed in through that porthole, but how could he have done that if he was dead? His accomplice must have climbed in FOR him! Sssh! He must still be in here somewhere!"

Joke #2: "Gloria!!! So I've caught you cheating on me at last.....with a corpse!!!! Is this what you've wanted all along? Was I just not DEAD enough for you? And you, Corpsey Joe. How could you do this to me? I trusted you, my best dead friend! What's that? Nothing to say for yourself? Typical."

Joke #3: "Y...y... you mean that thing there is where men pee from? Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick!"

Joke #4: "Rufus!!! So, I've caught you cheating on me at last..... with a living woman!!!!...."

Joke #5: Julia knew she'd be caught eventually. Living with two men, she was bound to accidentally have an affair with one of them, and the other one would inevitably find out. Yep, that's what she got for living inside a dryer with two handsome men.

Joke #6: Diane!!! So I've caught you cheating on me at last.... with a mer-man, who swims up to the porthole on a nightly basis, climbs into our stateroom and makes love to you, and whose flippers turn into human legs when he's on dry land, and who has the power to conjure human clothes from thin air! Is that what I'm supposed to believe? Hm?"

Joke #7: "Honey, there's nothing to be afraid of. Everybody had a Bed Corpse nowadays. They're the height of fashion! We don't want to seem strange, do we, darling? Look, we'll try it out for a few days, and if you're still nervous about it, we'll eat him and go back to our normal lives, okay?"

Joke #8: "Darren, you simply must remember to close the porthole when you go to work. Those darn seagulls keep bringing in dead sailors if you leave it open. Hey, wow! This one's a sergeant!"

Joke #9: "Well I don't know who he is either. There's only one thing to do. Keep poking him in the wiener until he goes away."

Joke #10:  "Rhoda!!! So I've finally caught you cheating on me at last! Well, at least you also murdered him, possibly out of remorse. Otherwise it could have gotten ugly. What's for dinner?"

Joke #11: (Guest joke from Jeremy. Thanks!) "Good question, doctor. I don't remember looking at the clock, but given that he took the Cialis when we left port three days ago, his erection must have lasted well over four hours."


Jeremy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Phil Are Go! said...

Since I asked Jeremy to do a guest joke, I moved his comment into the body of the posting. But please continue the Caption Assault in the comments, joke warriors! Thanks for reading!

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