Investigate Accidents - All kinds.

Joke #1: Investigate accidents. Makes a great date activity! Gawking at the blood-spattered misfortune of others brings you and your lover closer together. Free popcorn.

Joke #2: Investigate accidents. Car furnished. Expenses paid. Woman furnished. Hair color by availability only. Sickos only, please.

Joke #3: Train at home to investigate accidents, like this marriage. Help unfortunate couples understand how they became man and wife. Alleviate hopeless optimism! Terminate doomed relationships! Move in on divorced spouses! Only average education required. Average ethics optional.

Joke #4: "Two day ago I place ad in Pravda looking for husband. Now I live dream in big America with fancy American husband! We drive in car. We look at squishy people on highway. We... how you say... chase ambulance! Much action! Now life always exciting and sometimes make throw up. Much better than working in mop factory in Provisk!

Joke #5: Investigate accidents! Expenses paid! Car furnished with kitchenette, piano, fireplace, and ten-inch television!

PS: This ad was just above an ad for a radial arm saw. The career training costs money. The saw kit costs money. Irony is free.