Joke #1 "... and by making the iPhone too large to hold in your hand, we have ensured that you idiots won't short out the antenna by holding it wrong. One more thing - It costs fifty thousand dollars, and I hate each and every one of you."
Joke #2 "Luke! You've switched off your targeting computer! What's wrong?"
Joke #1 "Now, I know this may be hard for you, so tell me know if you need to take a break at any time, okay? Jessica, take this giant mouth and show me where the pastor touched you."
Joke #2 "Yes, that's right. That's how you extract a tooth. Now, the real thing is way smaller, is covered with soggy flesh, smells like a dead salmon and will be oozing blood and maybe some pus because you'll have to tear out the tooth with forceps, but other than that, this training aid is completely useful. Here's your certificate."
Joke #3 "Using this highly detailed model, students can safely learn how to care for the teeth of enormous fiberglass humans."
Joke #4 "August 4th, 3046, Tokyo. Deep inside a burial tomb, among ceremonial urns filled with power pellets, archaeologists unearth the remains of Emperor Pac-Man the First."
Joke #1 "And this is the rifle I used to take down that giraffe you see in the courtyard. Of course I was much bigger then, but that was before the shrink ray wore off. Wait. Does a shrink ray make you smaller or make the world smaller? I can't... Hey, what in the hell are you two laughing at?"
Joke #2 "This is the weapon found at the crime scene, gentlemen. From the looks of things, we're dealing with a real monster. Either he's about fifteen feet tall, or he's a normal size guy with hands about a foot in diameter. Be on the lookout for anyone who looks like they're trying to be short, or anybody wearing two catcher's mitts. That's probably your man. Oh, one more thing. You'd better wear your gigantic bulletproof vests: he may still have a sidearm."
Joke #1 "Now pay attention because this is the clever part! Just as Oliver is entertaining his high-class friend from New York, Arnold the pig runs through the living room. This is very funny, soldiers! DO YOU GET ME? HA, two, three, four! HA, two, three, four!"
Joke #2 "Men, as you can see here through this big box with a window, the terrain between us and the trees offers lots of cover for snipers. Or, you can just look around the box and see the same thing, but it's less fun."
Joke #3 "... and that, men, is your best bet for detecting and destroying a roadside IED. Now, before you have your cookies, enjoy this funny puppet show the General and I made up."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment