Advancements in Science

The following scientific advancements are reproduced from the May 1952  issue of Popular Mechanics magazine verbatim. No, YOU shut up.

Self-Powered Blow Dryer Americans may now dry their hair without costly electrical consumption. The bag is fitted over the scalp and hose is inserted in the mouth. To avoid "food smell in the hair", manufacturer recommends drinking Vitalis. Manufacturer of Vitalis recommends not drinking Vitalis. Also effective on those with good posture.

First Artificial Heart Researchers at Cornell have developed the first artificial heart. It only requires a three-man team to operate. Based on a Cummins diesel ship engine block, the "Joy" artificial heart can keep a rabbit alive for up to three hours, and is small enough to be implanted in a sperm whale.

Baby Coaster  A wet baby no longer leaves a ring on a coffee table, moistening pretzels or other snacks. Inflatable baby coaster keeps urine and other liquids neatly pooled under the child, keeping the coffee table clean and sanitary. Larger model available for obese babies.

Automatic Dish-Washer Dishes, plates, cutlery and pepper shakers may now be cleaned more quickly and efficiently thanks to new automatic dish-washer. Dishes are first scraped, moistened, and wiped with a cloth, then brought up to a temperature of one hundred degrees over a boiling tea kettle. Then, dish-washer takes over. Dishes are placed in the hopper for cleaning. One hour later, they may be removed and placed on a drying rack for re-use. Chlorine refills are available from manufacturer. Plate fragments are easily removed from the rubble bin at the bottom of the machine. Price yet to be determined pending annual accounting assessments. Target price is $75,000.


Phil said...

What did I take away from today's post? Urine-soaked pretzels. Yum!

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