From the Pages of Science - The Sciencey Pages

New advancements in the various areas of science. SCIENCE COMPLETE!
New portable power saw makes jobs quicker by bringing the tool right to the work site. May be powered by any standard 120 volt train conductor via the accessory outlet at the top of the spine.

New "Mr. Bolus" extractor. Available in small, medium, and three-bean.

Newly developed automobile lights greatly reduce the risk of running yourself over. Extra illumination lets you spot yourself lying in the road seconds earlier, giving you precious extra time to swerve around yourself, preventing a tragic selficide.

Miniaturized electronic components fit into gigantic glasses. Two transistors, a capacitor, some wire, five screws, and a tiny switch have been built into the arms of these enormous glasses. Researchers hope to one day perform the same feat with components that do something. "Cramming miscellaneous junk into huge eyeglasses is a first critical step towards achieving the same goal, but with useful electronics that perform some kind of function." said head engineer Clark Worbold. "As for this current model, I can imagine the glasses being a boon to some nerd who wishes to conceal his dorky hobby inside his gigantic nerd glasses, keeping his loser secret safe... except for the dorky glasses, that is."


Craig said...

Mel Cooley: Quadrophenia fan. Who knew?

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