Remote Hands - Long distance dedication.

Joke #1 - Researcher develops sanitary chamber and manipulator arms with which he may safely interact with filthy outside world. Invention makes it safe for thousands of crazy people to become rich, thereby graduating to "eccentric" status.

Joke #2 - New remote mechanical hands allow serving of drinks, dealing of cards, in previously uninhabitable radioactive casinos.

Joke #3 - Through the miracle of modern science, these mechanical arms give hope for a normal life to this man, hideously born inside a glass booth.

Joke #4 - Remote manipulator claws finally allow safe handling of radioactive materials. Also effective in preventing the spread of cooties from objects previously touched by girls.

Joke #5 - New mechanical manipulator arms allow the performance of hundreds of ordinary tasks, with adjustable difficulty ranging from 300% to 46,000%.

Joke #6 - Advanced robotic arms allow  safe execution of hundreds of ordinary laboratory jobs. Ironically, they're best for just snipping off people's hands.

Joke #7 - "Then, Dr. Problak could only stare at the celebratory drink he had just poured himself with his new mechanical arms. His victory rang hollow in the near-empty laboratory, for he realized he now had to invent mechanical lips."

Joke #8 - In response to the development of new mechanical manipulator arms, today the Vatican issued a letter announcing "Yes, it's still a sin, even with mechanical hands." The Robopope was unavailable for comment."

 Joke #9 - New mechanical villain arms finally allow the strangling of the radioactive insolent.

Jokes #10 through 12 come from Craigf, just to show me how it's done. Thanks for making a monkey out of me, PAL!

Joke #10: Robotic arms invent fat, bald man installed in management role.

Joke #11: New Robotic Bartender(TM) pours drinks, listens to incessant blather, kills self in parking lot.

Joke #12: Come on 21! Daddy needs a new set of capacitors.


[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]