Pedestrian Crossing - Frank's dilemma.

Joke #1 - Frank knew he had to get the door fixed, but the holidays were coming and money was tight. It was just getting so damn annoying holding it on with his armpit, though. Right hand turns were a real treat.

Joke #2 - Frank turned his lights on at the last second, startling them all. "A-HA!" he shouted. "Caught you, Barbara! How dare you have an affair with that man, that girl, that other man, that boy, and that baby... AND at our special intersection, too!"

Joke #3 - "Well hey, Frank! Nice to see you! I didn't expect to be run over by you this evening!"

Joke #4 - The joke had gone over like gangbusters, but Frank had neglected to wash his hand afterwards, and he had to get home for dinner in a hurry. He liked being known for something, but he would have to think of a new joke to use around the office. The "stinkpalm" was getting to be a real pain.

Joke #5 - Frank was tired of being a spectacle at stop lights. The window came up to his armpit, the steering wheel was buried in his stomach, and the roof pushed his hat down over his ears. Maybe in future decades cars would be bigger? Or maybe one of the manufacturers would produce a special model for sufferers of gigantism?

Joke # 5 - Frank turned his lights on, startling them all. He was getting good at this. It was pretty clever of them, meeting to plan his surprise party in the middle of the street, but he was cleverer still.

Joke #6 - His arm didn't feel right in his lap - it might get pinched between his leg and the steering wheel. It didn't feel right up on the wheel - he may hit a big bump, causing the wheel to jerk, breaking his thumb. Nope. He'd best keep it safe by hanging it out the window, where nothing at all could crush it suddenly.

Joke #7 - Audrey Meadows, Ron Howard, Grace Kelly, Mel Blanc and Bing Crosby, all in one intersection? Okay, Frank would save his murdering spree for the next crosswalk.

Joke #8 - Frank turned his lights on at the last second, startling them all. "A-HA!" he shouted. "Caught you, Gerald! How dare you... etc etc."

Joke #9 - Jeez, the goofy hayseeds that lived in these podunk towns.... They'd stand there, transfixed, hypnotized by his headlights until he turned them off. His commute was getting to be tedious.

Joke #10 - Scene from the Skokie Theater Company's 1954 interpretation of The Hobbit, Chapter eight, in which Bilbo and the dwarves, lost and starving, screech to a halt in an intersection to find a group of elves feasting, singing, and shopping, only to have the lights go out, and the revelers vanish.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.  -Mgmt.]


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