Camel Filters Denim Patch Offer - The patch that helps you stay smokin'.

Hey, look who's come back for a visit! It's our old friend The Seventies! Hey buddy, how are you? Fat, smelly, and drunkstoned? Shocking. Well, what have you got for us today? A denim pocket offer from Camel? That's very good. Did you cut this out all by yourself? I bet you need a rest after all that work. Oh, all right... A rest and a drink and a smoke. You take a load off while we read your ad. You're so smart and fun, The Seventies. I wish you could last longer than just ten years. Oh wait, you did. Your stink pretty much lingered through 1984.

I can't remember the last time I heard or read anyone using the adjective" dynamite" with sincerity. Good thing, too. I'd be hard pressed not to punch something. Anyway, this offer from Camel is apparently dynamite. A denim embroidered camel pocket for a buck, plus the joy of smoking two packs in order to be eligible. This will look great on your tote bag with no matching colors or textures. Thanks to the ad, we can all have the idea of sewing the Camel patch on our mile-high waisted jeans. These jeans simultaneously function as a bra. Hey! Why no picture of two patches sewn onto a bra?

Too cool for school. The school agrees.
Camel probably sold a million of these things. Believe it or not, people would actually wear stuff like this in The Seventies. Many a camel pocket was pressed to the fiberglass seat of a portable tilt-a-whirl back in the day. Fly by night carnivals were THE place to find licensed beer/smokes products. All the burnouts at any given high school had a camel patch, or maybe a Budweiser mirror: the highly prized prize for learning to shoot fluid into a clown's mouth.

Those of you below a certain age may not believe any of this, if not for hipsters who are responsible for bringing this kind of thing back to life, even if for ironic reasons. They deserve all the hate you can muster. Won't you please muster some today? Know what people like the anonymous hipsters at left would love? A crochet beer can hat. If you see one at a second hand store, buy it for five and sell it to these jackwads for fifty. Wait. You don't know what a crochet beer can hat is? You're in for a treat.

Yeaaaah, that's the stuff. Yes, people did this. No, really. No YOU shut up! In The Seventies, truly brand-loyal drinkers would set aside their cellos long enough to crochet a hat out of some deliciously empty beer cans. You could see these hats out in the wild at street fairs, carnivals, greased pig contests, cockfights, hen-teases, barn raisings, barn topplings,  mud whompin's, harpsichord recitals, and couch burnings. The usual weekend Seventies stuff.

If you really want to, it's not hard to find instructions how to make these on the web. No, I'm not giving you a link. I'm not going to help you do that to yourself. Find your own damn link.

So who wore this stuff? You know, your average professorial type. You can't see in this photo, but this guy has patches sewn on to his elbows. They may even have the camel logo on them.

Click for big.


Fil said...

On one patch, it looks like a Hannah-Barbara car the camel is driving. Stupid, weak-ass seventies.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

HB made multiple careers out of being super weak-ass. Shitty cartoons for kids who were captive to six channels for Saturday morning entertainment. It must have been a sweet time to be a lazy hack. Hanna's was the company that brought the laugh track to cartoons. One innovation in a fifty year career, and even that is a hateful one. Good job, Hanna Barbera. I hope you choke on your own vomit.

Thanks for reading, Fil!


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