Smile Gauge

Joke #1 - Exit poll at a Scientologist comedy club.

Joke #2 - Fox News executives, collecting data to see what can be done about this "happiness" thing.

Joke #3 - "...and with your smile stored as a preset, you can let your face relax completely. The JoyRack will do all the work for you! Now let's go to Timmy's recital!"

Joke #4 - "Yep. As I feared. My other daughter is four percent prettier."

Joke #5 - "No, wait. That's too happy. Try to think about that family we saw at the Dollar Store... There! Perfect! Now let's go to Church!"

Joke #6 comes to us from Brain thought, and the letter H. Thanks, Brain! - Is this Dr. Rubyte? Doctor J. Rubyte? Hi, this is Matt Potempkin from the National Science Foundation. We've been looking over your research and I'm sorry Dr. Rubyte, but we're going to need all the funding back. Well you see, what your doing is in no way science... 


Jokes #7 and 8 submitted by John Joseph. Well joked, JJ! - The excitement in the room was palpable; they had just witnessed the dawn of a new age, for today Dr. Rubyte had at last turned that frown upside-down.


#8 - Dr. Rubyte's Jack-O-Lantern design kit was admittedly complex, but one could not argue with the results.


Joke #9 comes to us from Anonymous 2. Thanks go out to our other mysterious contributor! - "I'm sorry Mrs. Forsythe, but according to my expensive Lexan grid, your head is completely out of round now. We'll have to put you back under & whack it back a few more times with the larger more professional mallet. That should do it."

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]

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