Dispatches from the front part of science's edge.

Police call box allows chefs quick access to police. This box, installed in Drury Lane, is shown in use by the Muffin Man, who recently helped solve the case of "Who Stole the Cookie From the Cookie Jar?". May someday be used for non-delicious crime applications, pending further development. Also something about police and doughnuts.

New game, "Acoustical Tile and Wooden Pegs" teaches children important lessons about cellulose, tedium, sitting, pegs, resentment, peer envy, and sleeping. Soon available at toy and hobby stores, game may also be constructed by inept handyman using acoustical tile and wooden pegs, available separately. Organic construction allows easy disposal by means of fire, compost, stomping, or throwing out car window. Not for use with children that resemble demonically possessed dolls or psychic test subjects, as shown.

Patient call system allows patients to summon nurse when they are out of cigarettes. Currently being tested for efficacy in replenishing patient supplies of whiskey, laudanum, and prostitutes.