Mod family room.

Joke #1 - "Honestly Hal, Would it kill you to lay down some carpet? Your mother went home last night and I can still hear her burps echoing around the place."

Joke #2 - For this modern, inviting media room, a twelve-inch screen is the ideal television size. Any larger and they'd have to sit in the hall to take it all in!

Joke #3 - "Hal, putting in this bar was just about the worst of your hair-brained ideas. Your precious bowling team certainly appreciates it. Kids, please turn around and finish your gin."

Joke #4 - "Kids, please turn around and finish your breakfast. You can watch Dick Cavett all you want after you eat."

Joke #5 - "Hal, I hardly think the Republican National Convention is healthy children's viewing. I can't wait till someone invents cartoons. Well, different cartoons, I mean."

Joke #6 - "Hal, please pick up your toys. You can watch the debates after you get ready for bed."

Joke #7 - Hal cherished these moments after his office job. Judy was clearing up dinner, the kids were all ready for bed, and he had his sunlamp warming up his midriff in preparation for a long night on the pole."

Joke #8 - In the decades preceding the advent of DVR technology, viewers would pass the time during commercial breaks by admiring fine art placed near the TV. Here, during an ad for Wildroot Cream Oil, a family is enjoying Gino Severini's cubist masterpiece Reclining Monstrosities.


Joke #9 - Judy was uncertain about the living arrangements they had worked out. She wasn't sure it was healthy for little Trent and his wife to wear matching pajamas. Oh well. That's mormonism for you.


Joke #10 comes from Sue. An Xmas in July present! Thanks Sue! - Christmas Eve in our family was always warm and inviting. Billy and I in our new pjs, hoping every year we would get that device that would play all those weird black plastic tapes that sat under our tv. We hoped until 1978, then our dreams came true!


Joke #11 - Unnamed Stranger threw a joke into the pot for us. Thanks mysterious reader! - Judy was really getting sick of Hal's fetish with doctor's offices. Not only did he remodel the living room to look like the reception area, but he now also ordered a used x-ray machine for the bedroom. He did not appreciate her quip that he should have ordered a microscope instead.


Joke #12 comes to us from MisterFancyHotBalls2, a recent addition to the list of regulars 'round here. Thanks, MFHB2! - "Hal, the children have knocked the table off it's shadow again!" - "We don't want another episode like the one we had with Peter & the OTHER CHILDREN, DO WE?"


[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]

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