House of Hazards

Joke #1 - In the fall of 1956, the Milwaukee Fire Department began experimenting with evil. Here we see a model of their proposed House of Hazards, whose success paved the way for their Chair of Treachery, Pencil of Peril, Dog Bed of Danger, Roundabout of Risk, and Washcloth of Woe.

Joke #2 - "Well, Mr. Hazards, I think you may want to consider changing the name of your hotel before you break ground."

Joke #3 - "Now, the full size House of Hazards will have real smoke, instead of cotton fluff, heh heh, but all the other details are accurate. If you and your wife approve the design, we can start building immediately and your family can move in as early as January. Sound good?"

Joke #4 - "Ah, there's your problem, see. Looks like your dolly was smoking in bed. I recommend you evict her immediately and replace her with a nice safe Evel Knievel action figure. Hmm... He does have drinking problem, though..."

Joke #5 - Ironically, the shoddy wiring in the Milwaukee Fire Department House of Hazards teaching aid burnt the structure to the ground mere hours before it's debut at the Safety Fair. Subsequently, an even smaller model of the model was built, to help demonstrate how future models of houses could be made safer.

Joke #6 - "See, Mr. Mayor? If only real houses were three feet high, had no walls, and were inside our fire department, we could virtually eliminate all fire-related property loss."

Joke #7 - "This switch turns on the orange lights, to simulate the fire, and this one here make the little people scream for help and jump out the window. This weekend, Bill will be wiring up our Domestic Abuse sound effects. We told him we didn't need it, but he really seems to be into it, for some reason."

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]

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Sue said...

How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to react to home fires if they can't even fit inside the building?

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Clearly your children are too large. You simply need to learn the art of Child Bonsai, as is performed on kittens. Also, you'll need to develop a new kind of very small fire for your tiny house.

Thanks Sue!


PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Forgot link.


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