Gypsy curses.

When angry, consider using these gypsy curses, carefully translated from ancient Russian Bazooka Joe comics by the P.A.G. Cultural Awareness Assault Force.


Curse #1 - May a hundred bats vex your cattle.

Curse #2 - May your potatoes all have voles hidden in them. Yes, voles!

Curse #3 - Your children should have such heads as the Kennedys in largeness, and as such, appear ungainly.

Curse #4 - Your wife should become sassy and bring shame to your house.

Curse #5 - Your eyes should turn to wood, and have poorly-applied paint on them, such that it peels, and causes you great discomfort.

Curse #6 - May you live a thousand years as a carnival worker.

Curse #7 - Your face is like unto a different, uglier face than yours. That face should be yours for the rest of time.

Curse #8 - May your clothing turn to fiberglass, and be of a size that it is difficult to remove.

Curse #9 - Your mouth should be filled with lint, and from underwear.

Curse #10 - All your carpeting will be soaked in urine of many kinds, and shall have no warranty.

Curse #11 - May TV Guide become mostly ads and only show television listing for prime time, and may it become useless and irrelevant, while still costing the same price as always. (Oh, wait, that's already happened).

Curse #11 - Go vex yourself.

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