News from the The Forefronts of Science - Three newses from the forefront!

Household tip: Placing needles in the cork stopper of poison bottles ends troublesome "too-comfortable drinking" of poison. Also keeps needles handy for poison-related sewing projects. Also also reminds poison drinker to remove stopper before drinking with unpleasant "nose prick". Also also also improves reception of tiny poison-bottle-stored television.

Finger vise aids clamping of fingers by clamping fingers in vise. Keeps surplus fingers from rolling away, getting lost under workbench and being carried away by finger-starved woodland creatures. May also be some other kind of thing or whatever. Possibly holds other things.

New lightning-powered boat is powered by lightning. Capable of impressive bursts of speed separated by very long periods of no speed at all, with some risk of light death. Only functions during most lethal weather conditions. Possibly useful for patrolling bodies of water, warning others to get the hell off the water.


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