8/12/13

New forefronts of science's edge of itself.

New invention, "the car" can be used to destroy fences. Developer now testing other possible uses.





Automotive jack is powered by saliva. Also serves as high-powered saliva jet, for some reason. Manufacturer accepts no returns.




New "brain cone" can attenuate wearer's brain function, making daytime television watchable. Full range of mental attenuation is possible with handy dial. Device can depress cerebral activity, allowing enjoyment of premature presidential election speculation on CNN, or can completely destroy all brain activity, making vacuous idiots on The View seem fascinating.



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