The Old Man and the Tree

Joke #1 - Jeb cradled her in his arms. He couldn't believe she was gone. Those darn beavers would pay. He'd have is revenge, but first he needed to start growing his new wife.

Joke #2 - "He's down but he's not out! Don't you say that! Tree will play again. He'll play and he'll win!"

Joke #3 - C. Everett Koop, in new Deep Woods scent. Use only as directed.

Joke #4 - Sprigbough Farms' Pine Blast Cereal. Still 100% spruce. Now gluten free.

Joke #5 - Radagast the Tweed.

Joke #6 - ...but most of all, Grampa loved it when we'd take him out to the country, to scamper and run free, and play hours and hours of Fetch, until his hip replacement would start to creak.

Joke #7 - "'T'were a fair tree, English, but she weren't cut down. She were PRAYED down. My old bones suspect the Protestants! Get the village ready for a hard preachin'!"

Joke #8 - "Ummm, that's very nice, Grampa. Well, let's get that, uuh... 'rabbit'... ready to stew. *sigh*."

Joke #9 comes to us in the form of a tidy little LOTR reference from a mysterious stranger. That narrows it down to one of seven billion likely individuals. Humanity, I'm looking in your direction! - Joke #9 - Bill was saddened to hear he really wasn't an Ent...

Joke #9b comes to us on the wings of a Nazgul from MisterFancyOneBallToRuleThemAll, even though he later seemed to regret it. No takebacks! - Bill was then deeply mortified that the little boys who rode on his head weren't really Hobbits.

[Commenter joke will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]

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