The Hose Taste Experiment.

Joke #1 - Gerbert Fufferton, testing his thesis project, "Fufferton's Marvellous Gerbertizing Apparatus". Result: Surprisingly, only 86% Gerbertness. Recommendation: "Need larger control group. Also, participants not double blinded."

Joke #2 - Early development stages of what would later come to be known as the "Moderately Silly Straw". Later iterations would become the "Ludicrous Straw", eventually settling on successful and nearly perfect "The Silly Straw" design, balancing silliness with utility in an affordable straw that required no external power source for measurable, reliable silliness.

Joke #3 - Yet another complete failure to develop a pneumatic rib cage.

Joke #4 - Burp Management & Sequestration effort #3,025. "Sonic absorption via low density plasitform fiber compound." Found to be at least 90% effective on all but the most hilarious burps.

Joke #5 - Assessing the deleterious effects of dorkflation.

Joke #6 - Professor Hornby's Good-Time La-Bor-A-Tory Hosepipe Band. 6 p.m. and  9 p.m. performances. 9 p.m. show is "21 and over only". Raincoats strongly recommended.

Joke #7 - Gerbert, on the Gerbertphonium, waiting for the cue to play his big Gerbert solo.

Joke #8 - "Eew. Still tastes like Red Bull. Add more chlorine."

Joke #9 - In the early years of The Cola Wars, citizens were urged by soft drink advertisers to "Take The Doc Morton's Miracle Calmative Nerve Tonic Challenge", in which four out of five participants could not taste the difference between Doc Morton's Miracle Calmative Nerve Tonic and the leading competitor, Professor Longbottom's Old-Tyme Family Recipe Restorative Tincture in blinded taste tests, apart from incidental Sudden Explosive Catastrophic Liver Failure and Terminal Projectile Diarrhea, which were dismissed as "falling well within the two percent margin of error".

Joke #10 - "Day six, orally-assisted mechanically regulated self-administered coffee enema experiment. No rejuvenating effects reported. May try 'robusto arabica' blend."

Joke #11 - In the optimistic, freewheeling days of the early twentieth century, soda manufacturers were hard at work creating new "health drinks" for an eager marketplace, who were keen to try the latest taste sensation, such as 'Asbestos-Up'.

Never to miss an opportunity for joke-ing, In sweeps MisterFancyHotBalls_2 with a one-or-two-liner! - Joke # 12 - Not surprisingly, the Fufferton Brother's (Herbert & Gerbert, respectively) "How Much Can You Suck or How Much Can You Blow? Machine" was a dismal failure at the Women's Respiratory Clinic. Especially after Gerbert tried to test fit the chest harness on the well-endowed Mrs. Sweatermeate.
Mr. FancyHotBalls_2

Today's episode of Phil Are GO! is brought to you by the letter four, and Webe Gumbar. Thanks for the gumbaw, Popeye, in the form of jokes 12a and a2b! - Joke 12a - "Tail put-er on-er misses mark by wide margin, test subject walks backward to thwart misconception and ridicule."

Joke 12b - "Word- Absurd Gerb curd, g.e.r.d. heard blurred, slurred by undeterred nerd."

And just 'cause you got an honest face, here is a painstakingly simulated ad for Asbestos Up. A fine addition to your Graphic Gift HDD supository repository. Hey look! It's the gummy kid from the Columbia Motobike ad! Welcome back, gummy! Looks like you get another fifteen minutes of (sort of) fame! Graphic Gift incoming in three, two, one, GRAPHICGIFTINCOMINGNOW!

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[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]