Bronco Toilet Paper - "Injurious matter".

There's a brand of toilet paper running commercials with animated bears in them. The company would very much like you to be horrified if your toilet paper leaves a few fibers of paper on your butt, Quoth the cartoon bear at finding out, "Eew! I don't want that on me!" This is not new. Bronco toilet paper, way back in 1947, seemed very concerned that you may have "injurious matter" in your toilet paper. Like what? Surplus blasting caps? Nazis? Mussolini?

How vulnerable are the butts of the free world to foreign invasion? What's the worst that could happen? Your backside's not exactly a delicate snowflake. What's grosser than poo? Type "contaminated toilet paper" into a search box and enjoy your afternoon. Also consider that, before your TP meets its final destiny where the sun don't shine, it does spend a few critical moments in your hand. I suppose it's a fair expectation that your toilet paper be something close to sterile, as pointless as that sounds.

Art criticism time! File under "broken perspective". Look at the sink in the illustration. That's the angle of view you'd get from about five feet off the floor. Either that girl is the largest toddler in history or the sink is about 14 inches high. Something to think about next time you're on the Seat of Power.

Here's the star of today's baffling illustration lifted gently from her native ad. Maybe she'll come in handy next time you need to put a sign on the door at work, to remind the filthy animals to flush the toilet, or consider washing their hands before they return to the task of performing heart surgery. You're welcome!

Click for big.

Click for big.


Jack said...

Love the brand name too. Not sure if it means using their product would be like riding a bucking bronco or "paper" made from the carcasses of surplus broncos. And 700 sheets per roll! I recall my Grandpa trying to tell me to use one sheet at a time....that depression era mentality!

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