Eveready Batteries - Quick and easy.

If you ever find yourself the J. Jonah Jameson of a media empire based on looking at old magazines, and if you ever find yourself needing a quick post that's still worth posting, I have some advice. Just reach for your stack of Fortune magazines from the 1930s. yes, they're a pain to scan because their ancient bindings can barely stand to be opened flat on the scanner, and images routinely run deep into the groin between two pages. But, if your Images and Scanning Them squad has the patience and a light touch, Fortune was pretty much jammed cover to cover with gorgeous eye candy.

Today, we have this full page watercolor for Eveready batteries from 1935. It doesn't make me want to run right out and fill my trunk with batteries, but in this ad, Eveready is playing the long game, going for the soft sell. The objective here is the "Eveready love has plussed one!" feeling. It's all cozy and stuff, with a grandpa explaining geography to his grandchildren with the help of an Eveready flashlight.

Or, you can think of it as a rich, demonic robber baron explaining to his grandchildren how the whole of humanity will be subjugated to his will, once he completes the construction of his sun blocker, plunging the world into shadow, and he alone will control the light. It is Fortune magazine, after all. We can also assume that, once grandpa has finished the sun blocker demonstration, he would lead the kids in a rousing chorus of "mu-hu-ha-ha-ha-ha" practice.

Click it for the big version. You deserve it.