Grandpa Porch Lap

Joke #1 - Katie and Billy just wanted to ride the tractor, and Grandpa would let them, but never before listening to one of his stories about the old days. Today, it was a long, teary-eyed soliloquy about how some lady named "Justin Beiber" used to record music, but now she just got arrested all the time. 

Joke #2 - "Ooooh, I'm fine, kids. I just. Sigh. Some days I just , you know, miss your Grandma is all. I... Billy, that's not helping, please stop that."

Joke #3 - Grandpa seemed weird today. Katie and Billy sat in his lap for hours, waiting for him to wake up and tell them a story. His skin was all cold, too. They'd try again for another couple of hours after lunch.

Joke #4 - Katie and Billy couldn't figure out what was bothering Grandpa. He had a sad, far-away look in his eyes. His pulse was normal, and his breathing was slow and regular. Billy said even his prostate seemed fine.

Joke #5 - "Tell us a story, Grandpa Charles Bronson! Tell us Death Wish VI - The Taste of Death!"

Joke #6 - "I'm sorry, kids. My old knee's actin' up a little today. I'm afraid you'll hafta slaughter them pigs on your own."

Joke #7 - "What's with iGramps? I thought it was your turn to charge him. I mean, yeah, he's the thinnest Grandpa on the market, and that's cool and all, but his battery life is terrible. Jeez. When our contract is up, let's get a GrandDroid S6."

Joke #8 - "Come on Grandpa. Cheer up. Let's do that trick where I sing show tunes while you drink a glass of water."

[ Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt. ]


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