V8 Vegetable Juice - Vee eight modurr!

You coulda had a V8! That was a TV ad campaign for this stuff back in, I dunno, The Eighties or maybe The Seventies. I coulda had a V8 lots of times, but I choose not to. Dad loved the stuff, though.

Of course, I haven't tried V8 in decades, I was so turned off by the stuff when I tried it as a kid. I wish I did like it. It's supposed to be really good for you. I'll just eat a carrot, thanks.

But enough of relevance. Know what else rhymes with V8? It's Vee eight!

Top Gear, Season 20, episode 7. "The Worst Car in the History of the World". James and Jeremy scour the world for the most crap car. In my favorite segment, they test a couple of mid-Seventies American barges for speed and agility. At the start of that bit, they're comparing notes on the cars they chose, and Jeremy proudly indicated the size of his car's engine in a parody of an American accent. "Seven liter vee-eight modurr!" It's magically funny. Rent or buy the episode. Here's what you definitely won't say, two hours later: "I never smiled or laughed once. That was a total waste of two dollars." You can get it on Amazon or Hulu.

He's right, of course. We yanks have slurred many of our T's into D's, while the English still pronounce it "MOW-tah", something like fifteen hundred years after the language was invented. It makes me want to revert to the more accurate English way of talking, but that would make me a massive wanker. However, "banana" NEVER has an "R" on the end of it. Come, on, guys. Geddit right.