In this corner, we have the terrifying B.L. Mellinger, of Mellinger Imports. Westwood Boulevard couldn't hold him. Los Angeles couldn't scare him. Mellinger's going to disembody himself and float all over your face. let's see what this kid's got!
He's got no neck. That's a strong start for this darty little head. Also, don't overlook the weird ink-bleedy stroke around him, and the overall darkness of his tonality, making his halftone dot pattern more of a screen door. Man, it's like he's just floating outside your kitchen patio, wondering if he can come in and have an onion. Man, that's creepy. The creep factor is only slightly let down by the fact that he's managing a half-assed benevolent smile. That's not quite a game face, Mellinger, but let's see what your opponent's got for us...
Well, that little kid has a complete body and a flotation device, so she can't possibly be our fighter. But what's this over on the right? The Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass? The crowd gasps, and the officials rush to check the regulations as this surprise contender bursts from the page with all the bravado of a sextant! Whoosh!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass isn't even a human... or a sentient creature for that matter! That's creeeeepy! No neck to hold it back! No face to help you relate to it; just an ovoid bubble revealing the whirling ball within, which probably points north several times per day. In fact, it's kind of got a Daft Punk thing going on!
This DFH is a shock to the Disembodied Floating head Fighting World, head fans! Mellinger's out of sorts! The crowd is all about the disturbing inanimate newcomer. Mellinger stumbles from the ring in disgrace as the referee fails to raise the hand of the Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass! Winner!
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1 comments:
It doesn't seem fair, it doesn't seem right, and yet the compass face is devastatingly effective.
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