The Horseless Telegraph

Joke #1 - "Hah! There. I told you, Mavis. Tomorrow is trash day."

Joke #2 - Mavis needn't have called the police. It turns out Jasper's spare moustache was on his head all along.

Joke #3 - The world's first practitioner of "smug". Previous to that, it was simply called "being an insufferable jackanapes".

Joke #4 - Mavis wished ever so much that Jasper would find a different way of letting her know he was feeling randy.

Joke #5 - "Mavis, I've just heard about a new use for those old sheep intestines that keep piling up. Guess what I'm wearing!"

Joke #6 - Mavis jumped. The infernal contraption worked! Now they'd be able to find out about the Hindenburg disaster, the sinking of the Titanic, the R101 disaster, World War II, and prohibition literally days before their neighbors.

Joke #7 - Mavis' hand trembled as she held the receiver. The voice on the horseless telegraph said those sideburns were coming from inside the house!"

Joke #8 - Jasper beamed. The infernal contraption worked! Probably via witchcraft or demons, of course. He'd have to find out how to check the demon inside it, and he'd probably have to keep a supply of fresh demons in the closet to keep it running, but this was the way out of the dark ages, after all.

Joke #9 comes to us all the way from Mr. FancyAnusPants_2, who could not stop if he wanted to. Thanks, MFAP! - Joke #9 - Mavis was horrified by the stench. She now knew exactly where Jasper had been hiding the earpiece!!

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]

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