Video Review! Danger 5!

Short version:
If you have eyeballs and ears, use them to watch Danger 5, or go to hell.

Long version:
Danger 5 is an Australian television series. Two seasons are available, with a third on the way. It takes place during World War II, looks like it was made in the Sixties, and was actually made over the last few years by the Sydney Broadcast System (SBS). Currently available on Netflix. It's brilliant.

Dario Russo, with intensity.

The creator / director is Dario Russo, an Australian writer, producer, director, and composer who seems to really really like old film parody. His first project was a serialized internet series called Italian Spiderman, now viewable on FaceTube as a complete movie here.  The Sixties / Seventies look of the film is even more accurate than Grindhouse. From watching it, you can see how the SBS gave him money to make Danger 5.

Italian Spiderman starred David Ashby, who, after substantial weight loss, now fills the role of Jackson, the American member of the Danger 5 team. He hates "nazzis". The other actor who appears in both projects is Carmine Russo, who plays Hitler. Maybe he's related to the director?

"...and for God's sake, kill Hitler!"

Danger 5 are a team of spies on a mission to kill Hitler, as directed by their commander, an Eagle-headed human, Colonel Chestbridge, who seems to be American also. Duh.

If you're the type who always has to have backstory filled in, and always demands "why this?" and "why that?", you're going to have a hard time getting through Danger 5. Some people have animal heads. The Sixties took place in The Forties. Shut up and enjoy it.

Jackson and Claire battle a shark, obviously. Claire spends most of Season 2 as a severed head, carried around by her heartbroken husband, Tucker. Wups! Spoiler!

Production values fall somewhere between Batman and Doctor Who. All buildings are models. All vehicles are toys. All strings are proudly unhidden. Shut up again.

Oh, Ilsa. We're from two different worlds...

All dialogue is dubbed, even if the characters speak English. This captures the zero budget exploitation film aesthetic. Also, everyone can understand every language, even if they can't speak it. This keeps it feeling very international, without  any tedious interpretation needing to be done. Ilsa, for example, who only speaks Russian, can be perfectly understood by anyone, though her dialogue is subtitled for the viewers at home. Also, I love her, although we can never be together.

That's pretty much everything you need to know. Oh yeah: any ally who gets killed recites, with their dying breath, their perfect drink recipe into the ear of a weeping Pierre, who is the team's bartender.

In one episode, there's a Nazi triceratops with machine guns on his head. Goddammit, would you just go and watch it already? Jeez. I need to get back to clicking the "refresh" button on my Netflix queue until season three comes out. Here's a trailer.