Reynolds Aluminum - Shilling for the can.

Okay, in 1957, aluminum wasn't wasted on mundane things like cans just yet. Shut up. You try writing a pun with Christmas and aluminum. (Please post you depressingly superior aluminim Christmas puns in the comments, jerks.)

Reynols Aluminum wrote a nice shiny check to Disney, apparently. So, we get the Disney gang urging us to consider whether everything on our Christmas list could be a little more aluminum. And why isn't everything on your list aluminum? Why do you hate Mickey, you cretin? Your grandma knitted you a sweater? it better be an aluminum sweater or Disney won't approve, based on their promotional tie-ins. Don't you feel ashamed, grandma? Bitch.

This Disney serving suggestion suggests you should choose to buy the aluminum fridge, aluminum stove, aluminum TV, aluminum roller skates, aluminum suitcase.. okay, I do think those exist, at least.

Reynolds makes a point of mentioning that aluminum can be made in "a rainbow of 'in-the-metal' colors". They're talking about anodizing, but a word like that is too big and scary for the readers of LIFE magazine, it seems. We wrote a little thingy skimming the high points of anodizing back in 2011. Here. Read that if you're bored...

Hah. "Alumi-nummy". That's a pretty good one. Too bad it's not Christmassy, or I'd recycle it here. Aluminum puns are extra-recyclable, of course. Random thought: Imagine how extra pointy your Pointy Tree Day tree could be if it were made of aluminum, like that gongy one in the Charlie Brown Christmas special.

Bonus random thought: The English prefer to pronounce the word as "a-lu-min-i-um". This sounds as insane as intentionally eating a smoked fish leather and calling it a "kipper". But remember that the English invented English, so in the court of grammar, their opinion should carry more weight than the country tat invented "git r done". The clever blokes at Mental Floss did the homework for us...
Greeks and Romans used alum salts and in 1761, Guyton de Morveau suggested calling the mineral base alumine—he did identify the metal, and initially decided to call it aluminum.

Fast forward a few years to 1812, when scientific colleagues of Davy’s started using aluminium, saying that it had a more classical vibe (reports suggest that Davy signed off on the shift).
Hm! So the American pronunciation "aluminum" came first? Weird! I'd have thought it was just us yanks getting bored halfway through reading the word and skipping letters. But, the article also points out that their spelling is consistent with the other elements in the periodic table, like titanium, helium, and stuff. Do you fill your balloons with "helum"? Didn't think so.

So, I could probably get used to the British pronunciation of Aluminium, because they're right. But there's no way I could get used to eating fish jerky in place of actual food... not without also getting used to a plate full of barf, anyway.

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Michelle_Randy said...

Elmira Stove Works will be happy to give you an state of the art fridge in those wacky retro colors and styles. Of course, it'll set you back a cool $5K, but isn't it worth it to make Mickey happy. Excuse me while I go drool over the Robin Egg's Blue one.

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