Up Your Decor, 1969

Wow, everyone! The Sixties sure were turbulent and stuff! Who's really excited to start The Seventies and make everything all groovy again? Everyone! That's what! So, why not start by decorating your "pad" with some hip new styles that your family will be sure to tolerate for decades to come! Yes! That's why not! Let's get ready to do what I just said! Let's "Up Your Decor"!!!!!!!!

Everyone knows your bathroom is the extra private comfy room of your house, and these ultra
luxurious bathroom cozy kits are a great way to comfyify your personal evacuation area. Everyone
wants their bathroom to absorb some of the spiritual energy of the homeowner and never, ever let it
go. that's why these super-absorbent fixture fluffers are perfect for absorbing all your aural juices
and creative fluids, so they can hold onto your spirit forever. Everything in this kit, from the toilet
snuggler to the garbage cozy will never forget you! You'll be in them!

Hey, junior. You call that a carbon atom? Ha ha! It looks like little junior won't be sending home any
big checks from his lucrative career as a researcher of science. But you know what? He's smart
enough to know that nothing's better for making up mistaken molecules than a nice huge plain of this
luxurious ocher pile. How vast is the ocher pile plain? It's vast enough that junior is a safe distance
from the five thousand dollar Eames chair. There's no chance he can damage it by whacking his face
on it. The chair and junior are safer if he keeps his bottom planted on the ocher pile.... in style!
Who's enigmatic? Mister and Missus Blue, that's who! And so can you, with this infinite blue void of
blue shag. You'll be up, up, and away in the wild blue yonder. You and your hexagonal ceramic side
table and your lone ionic elbow column. You just can't let yourself leave until you figure out what
the chandelier is hanging from, but then "it's hard to leave when you can't find the door"!

What's in? What's out? You are, if you've got these neat-o indoor shingles on your walls! Welcome
your neighbors into the outside of your house if you want to, but if they look like they "can't handle",
just leave them inside, out there. You  and your carpet crawlers know that you've got to get in to get
ouuuut! We are sorry to have blown your mind!


Jim D said...

Yes. What magazine are these from? It is clearly a magazine that my mom read. That sliced-cone fireplace sure brings back memories! (Ours was yellow)

CEMaine said...

The elbow column is not iconic. It's corinthian.

And you say your'e a designer?

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Aw, nertz. I forgot about the Corinthian columns. I only compared the elbow column to a Doric one, which are way more minimalist than this one. It's easy to forget the Corinthians made anything but rich leather.

Thanks for reading, cemaine.


CEMaine said...

Iconic columns have those swirly things at the top. Kinda like when I put the Bailey's in my coffee.

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