Love & Romance Comics, Nov. 1973 - "Not His Type".

The Phil Are GO! Rummage Sale and Antique Store Assault Squad returned from a mission over the weekend, having suffered the loss of half their team, but it was worth it. Those brave grenadiers will not have died in vain, because we can now bring you this sizzling hot issue of Love & Fucking People Over Love & Romance from 1973. There are three smoking tepid stories in this comic, but just like always, they put the burning moist cover story way in the back, to make sure you read the whole thing.

It's the positively throbbing story of a young Tommy James on a doctor-ordered solo vacation in Hawaii, without any of The Shondells to cramp his style. Sure, he's under the assumed name of Jonathan Dolman, a mild-mannered accountant whose whole life seemed to be planned out for him. He was the perfect target for a brazen hussy and her partially weaponized black bikini! What mayhap? Don't not read this flaming limp tale of infidelity and secretly being Tommy James! We now present for you the entire seven-page account of one milquetoast undercover Tommy James, and temptress Gina Shaw's diabolical plot to milk his toast! Read - Yes, read! - with your very own eyeballs "Not His Type"!

[Plot analysis and Graphic Gifts posted after the comic.]

Cleverly disguised! Could this scorchingly turgid story be the inspiration for Tommy's much-covered-by-wedding-bands hit "Mony Mony"?

So there you have it. The lesson is this: If you're an undercover Tommy James who flies to Hawaii with the sole purpose of writing postcards while wearing a ski sweater, you will definitely have a determined, horny blonde climb into your pants, forcing you to dump your girlfriend over the phone. And thereby will you find lasting happiness, and you will definitely not instantly leave that woman for the next woman who shows you her bikini.

The other lesson is that if you're a determined, horny blonde and you wear a swimsuit, the most mild-mannered Tommy James will absolutely betray his girlfriend to nail you. Also, you will be happy forever, because he will never dump you just because a different woman puts on a bathing suit. Ever.

This comic book is rich in copyrighted useful graphics! Please enjoy these 1000 px square avatars of Tommy and Gina, for use in whatever chat forum service application board you kids tend to use these days. You're welcome!

Also enjoy the prancing lady who may or may not be fleeing from a giant heart. You're still welcome!

Click for 1000 px.

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Mat Black said...

Groovy!I'm crystal blue persuaded:Hawaii here I come.

Steve Miller said...

Wow! Muriel was never like this!

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