Lucky Strike Half & Half Tobacco - Your bastard avatar is here.

In a slight breach of procedure, we posted the Old Bastard Whiskey ad from yesterday without also offering a nice thousand-pixel avatar of Old Bastard himself. He'd look pretty good as your profile picture or whatever on your forum, chat service, or social media thing or whatever, right?

He came from this Lucky Strike ad from a 1936 issue of Popular Science. He's way bigger than when we shrunk him down to be the figurehead of Old Bastard Whiskey - plenty of resolution to get a good image. That was nice of him. What a nice bastard he is!

The ad copy reads like they just invented language. No idioms at all. "Cool as the summons 'The boss wants to see you.'" "Your password to pleasure!" It sounds awkward on the one hand, but on the other hand, why embrace cliche and worn-out phraseology? "People who love to say "think outside the box", I'm looking at YOU.

Check out the cool telescoping tin that the tobacco came in! Apparently, it was a chore reaching deep into an emptying tin to get out the last of the tobacco, so they made a can that shrinks as you go. Weird. It looks like it had rolled edges. What's with the "no bite" thing? Ah well. Who knows.

A neat custom can like that would be judged "cost prohibitive" by today's don't-give-a-crap-but-pretend-we-give-a-crap standards. A little common sense would be a great thing to see in package design today.

For example, "easy tear" lunch meat packages whose rip cord completely fails to actually open the bag.

For another example, they should abandon the design of any mayonnaise -type jar that's just tall enough to totally smear the handle of a butter knife as you try to retrieve the last of the mayo from the bottom. That plinkety-plinkety sound is the harbinger of messy fingers.

Anyway, you want your bastard avatar. Hold your horses. Here he is. Thousand by a thousand. Nobody's account settings should find an excuse to choke on a 1k x1k jpeg like this. He sure looks like he's just foreclosed on an orphanage, doesn't he? What a great bastard. You're welcome!

Click for 1000 px.


[lrf] said...

"No bitten fingers as you reach for a load..." Ah, those were the days.

cyclotronboy said...

Cool as the summons "The boss wants to see you." doesn't strike me as a good thing... but maybe things were less punitive in the office in 1936? IDK

Steve Miller said...

Those eyebrows are wanted in forty-six states, and should be considered armed and dangerous.

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