1958 Lincoln Continental - Lincoln In-Continental?

The English language is stupid. This is mostly because the prefix "in-" can mean two things which are exact opposites: "very" and "not at all". Something that is "insoluble" is the opposite of something that is "soluble", and yet "inflammable" means "very, very flammable". This is completely stupid and needs to end.

So, bearing this in mind, please realize that a "Lincoln Incontinental" would be a car that should be "not at all like a continent", meaning "shorter than one".

The 1957 Lincoln Continental was almost nineteen feet long. That seems pretty big, but in 1958, Ford would come to their senses and realize that the car could achieve perfection with the addition of more bigness, to the tune of five additional inches. That's the one in this ad.


...or was it?

Yes, it was.

...until now.

This car wasn't about lugging around back seat passengers. It was about you, your tuxedo, and your wife dressed like a lamp, stepping through a dimensional gateway into an achromatic void, where you are gifted with a gigantic carboat, with a grand piano nestled in the trunk. Lincoln Incontinental Supercoupe - Everything you need, and nothing your neighbors don't know you need. The automobile, re-perfectioned.

You're welcome!

Here's a PNG of the Lincoln Incontinental Supercoupe, with transparent background, so you can drag it all around your documents with your mouse, making cool motor noises with your lips. Just be sure you make it stop for gas every two hundred pixels. You're welcome!

And, if you're boring, here's the original big-as-a-continent one. You're still welcome.


cyclotronboy said...

The size of that thing - yikes. More like Lincoln "Inter-Continental," amirite?

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