Mobot

Joke #1 - "ARE-YOU-WORKING-LATE-AGAIN?... COME-BACK-TO-BED-DARLING."

Joke #2 - The Jet Propulsion Laboratory, in late testing stages of its Remote Unmanned Jet Propulsion Laboratory Exploration Rover.

Joke #3 - At just 1,750 pounds and 1.2 million dollars, the Mur-Dor Semi-Autonomous Liquidation Unit finally brought simple, low-cost, and stealthy scientist strangulation to the masses.

Joke #4 -
10     interpolate current X, Y coordinates to [STAN COORDINATES] at .005% velocity
20    extend manipulation pincers
30    if [STAN] = [ALERT] then goto 80
40    if [STAN] = [BUSY] then goto 50
50    execute [STRANGLE STAN] subroutine
60    interpolate current X,Y coordinates to [MEXICO] at 100% velocity
70    let unit i.d. = [PEDRO] until heat dies down
80    pretend to be fixing hair

Joke #5 comes to us from Jeremy. Always grateful for a Jeremy Jape! Thanks, Jeremy!- WHY... GIVE... A ROBOT... EXPRESSIVE... HAND GESTURES... IF... YOU'RE... NOT GOING TO... FUCKING... TURN AROUND... WHEN... I... AM... TALKING... IS ALL...

We got a verbose Joke #6 from Mr. FancyGlenOrGlendaPants_2! Thanks, MFGOGP! Joke #6 - Military Hair Technician Sgt. Rick Hunts Sr. pictured testing the "Barb-O-Tron / Flowbee" (Ver. 1.0), Army issue compact self-grooming hair appliance, circa 1948. This unit specialized in the seldom popular "monk cut", and was discontinued in 1949 after removing and cauterizing 3 left ear lobes from subsequent testing engineers. On a lighter note, it was lent out to Ed Wood's studio for the forgettable B movie: "Barber Vixens from Outer Space", (in which only two women were de-lobed and cauterized).

Joke #7 reveals that a robot's emotions make for rich pickings. Thanks, Jeremy! - FINE... DOCTOR... GO TALK... TO... YOUR... THREE... MONITOR... HAVING... SLUT... ... MAYBE... IT WON'T... EVER... CRUSH... YOUR... COFFEE CUPS... ... ON ACCIDENT... 

John came equipped with a joke in each clamp. Thanks, John!...
Joke #8 - “Behead-o-tron, fix me a drink please. Behead-o-tron? Are you listening to me?”
Joke #9 - “Reacharound 5000… time to shine, my friend.”

Differently Spelled Jon will not be denied a joke. Joke it like you stole it, man. Joke #10 - What they're actually testing is the protective design of the JPL wedgie denial seat.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]