The Wire?

Joke #1 - "Yeah, you're gonna wear a wire. And, it's a big wire. Trust me, it's the only way the perps will respect you."

Joke #2 - "I know, the unit looks a little bulky, but if one of the suspects starts to get wise to you, just make that Darth Vader noise."

Joke #3 - "Just talk into the mic', and you'll be talking directly to your heart... just like you talk to mine *sniff*. Be safe out there, Tad."

Joke #4 - "Now remember, this thing is just for work. None of that Hey-good-lookin-we'll-be-back-to-pick-you-up-later shit.You got that?"

Joke #5 - "If anyone asks, just say it's a bra for your single, rectangular boob in the center of your chest. They shouldn't ask any more questions."

Joke #6 - "Nah, you'll be fine. If one of the gang asks if that's a recording device, just say 'if it was, we would have hidden it better'. That nearly worked for Agent Randall. By the way, the wake is tomorrow at two."

Joke #7 - "Don't worry. The whole unit will be hidden by your new enormous, novelty Police tie. Those should be in some time later this week."

Joke #8 - "Too bad. We all gotta wear body cameras now. Incidentally, the 'off' button is the entire outer case. Touch it anywhere and it'll power down. Good to know, right?"

Anonymous sent us joke #9, and will now be processed as part of our Joke Protection Program... although his/her real name is Anonymous. Ssshh! On Ted's first day on the job as a Flight Data Recorder, no one told him he was supposed to wear a red shirt.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]