Up Your Decor - Overdone is never done.

Hey there, decorators! It's mid-to-late summer, and maybe you feel as though you've done all the decorating you can do in one season? Well, your old pal Vorbia's here to tell you that you're not decorating hard enough! Can you have too much happiness? Shut up, NO! Can you have too much sunshine and color? Go to hell!

Keep decorating! And when the decorations are all in place, decorate them! Let's get decorating, for fuck's sake!

Green means life! Like grass, and all God's creatures that swarm over a dead possum or piece of discarded meat! Green, green, green! This Greek-themed green room reminds us that "Greek" rhymes with "green", doesn't it? Leave me alone! I think it does! Nothing says "I'm in Greece" like some scrap wood easily nailed into the shape of an arched window! What do you see through that window? I see the demons that will take me if I ever stop decorating! This magic simulated window makes an elegant backdrop for a concrete statue of Glemdria Hugging Some Leaves. Who's she? Why, she's the Greek goddess of sticking your butt out  a little bit, silly!

Crucified Fish with Swallowed Trombone is by Stephan Spim, and makes a delightful accent piece for the side table.

Do you have a room that you think is too small to decorate? Shut up or I'll kill you! This very presidential microsuite is here to prove you're a bastard! Credenza with fold-down tamber that can never be folded back up because of a lamps and five other things? Check! Chair and  foot stool a few inches away? Check! Accent table filled with tea cup, incense burner, ice bucket, lamp, and curiously oversized "exotic pleasure device"? Check! Day bed only a few inches away? Oh, you bet that's a checkaroonie! All this wonderful stuff is embraced by a vibrant French colonial striped wallpaper with ornamental swirlicues. So cozy! If you never stop putting pretty things in your Special Little Room, that will keep The Voices quiet! We like quiet!

At the end of a long day of decorating, isn't it nice to just sit and relax in a simple, peaceful room of your stronghold to just unwind? In this Romanesque sitting room by Ernst Stavro Blofeld, you can enjoy a nice sit-down while enjoying the simple, everyday things that make your life worthwhile, like your marble statues of Poseidon, your tapestries, and your Lurking Cheetah printed tablecloth. You can take all this in while you ignore the veiled sexual overtures of your husband, looking sharp in his after-dinner-but-before-dessert jacket. It's the simple things that matter, stupid! Right?


Jim Dee said...

I'm getting a little worried about Vorbia. Actually, I'm getting a little worried about ME - - - I've started hearing her voice a little too clearly. Thanks, I think.

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