9/21/17

Up Your Decor - Such art!

Hey there, compulsive decorators! Do you think we've decorated together very recently, and we should leave things be for a while? Well, kill yourself!!!! You're a horrible person!!!! All of you who are left, let's decorate it like it's on fayaahhh!

Oooooh! So very rustic! So rough! Even the windows look like they were hacked from a glass tree with an axe! This room is simply thrusting with coarse, brutal masculinity! It's almost violent in it's passion! I bet Gronk would just love the hell out of it! Do you think Gronk would like sleeping here? I bet he'd feel right
at home among the Orcishly hewn beams. I think he'd be so inspired with brutal urges that he'd just grab the nearest lady and express all his masculinity in every way possible and stuff! Wow, doesn't it just
make you feel... gosh, is it hot in here? Wowie wow wow. Moving on...


This mathematically impossible Escher-realm is devilishly designed by Meek VanDerWhirl, and cannot be expressed in a three-dimensional reality. The chair-and-end-table feature will make you think there's a mirror dividing the room, but there isn't!!! Hey! Let's examine the art objects hanging on the wall object!


Oh my goodness! It's Tor Johnson's seminal work "Tears of my Feces"!
The lucky person that lives in this tesseract of sophistication is a
discerning collector!
Gasp! And the other art is Erno Bleah's "Shiny Oprah Considering Going
Upstair
s"! I thought this one was destroyed in the Completely Reasonable
Art Riots of 1966! I'm so glad I was wrong!
Wow! After all that artistic appreciation, I feel the need to retire to the extradimensional null-space
at the top of the stairs. Won't you create a spacetime transgression with me and share a cup of tea?
This otherwise conventional space is screaming with verve and dynamism, thanks to the clever
designer's choice of arts! Let's go in for a closer artlook, shall we?
Aah, yes I thought it might have been, and it is! This is Melba Fishwhistle's powerful work "Unshaven Fan with Partial Whiskers".
And this is Helmut  Lazenglint's "You Call That a Signature?". It really makes you want to rethink how you feel about writing someone else's name without paying attention, doesn't it?
Next, we find Stephanie Japanwich's "Mid-Spurt"! 

Just in case you think that art is all about not pinching combs, this painting is here to completely
blow your mind! "Pinched Comb" artist Gloverick Wheent does not apologize for destroying your world view! Boom!
Oh my word. I never thought I'd see it in person, but this piece is more overwhelming than I
thought it'd be. This example of genius is Beaufort Hamkirk's career-defining sculpture, "You Idiots Will Buy Anything And I Fucking Hate You". My gosh, I could stare at this piece for days. So much to learn from it. That's enough decorating for today, decorators.
I'm spent!


3 comments:

Grant Blackler said...

Vorbia Goatstain...love your work.

Michelle_Randy said...

That last one reminds me of the apartments they have in those Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies.

mac notwen said...

I'm totally with you Phil! Give 'em Hell!

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