Little Ads - Opportunities all over the place.

Wow, that guy MUST be successful! A table full of broken clocks and he has time to sit and clean his nails.

This ad probably got a lot of mistaken responses from readers unfamiliar with the term for lock repair.

Learn these timeless cowboy classics; "I'm a Short-Handed Ranch hand", You Stole My Heart and Borrowed my Arm", "Lonely For The Wrist of my Life", "My Humerus Ain't Humorous" and many others.

Ummm, that's not Mickey.

"Write for free book". Yes, that would make it free... but isn't that the absolutely slowest way to get a book?

"Custom bibs! Magic liquid prints photos directly on fabric. Never forget what's for dinner! Lobster, crab, chicken, Dean Jones...

"Train your voice! Earn your toga. Special shouting helmet included with membership." Also, apparently lethal to minors.

"Watches Wanted... even Ingersolls." Hey, what have these guys got against poor old Ingersoll?

"Learn how to draw funny pictures for money". Tired of all those fancy artists walking around with their capes and top hats? Get rich the easy way! Cartoonists get free money just for being artsy! Dine on solid gold omelets! Throw away perfectly good merchandise! Get so rich you hate yourself! Send for free detals.


Craig F. said...

Proof that Popeye was banging Bazooka Joe's mom.

Jason Wisnieski said...

Am I allowed to comment on old articles? I'm sure I am.

I particularly like how the clock repair ad had no room for spaces in the first paragraph, but they still managed to throw in an ellipsis.

Prepareforahappyfutureofprosperity is my new favorite word.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Prepareforahappyfutureofprosperity is a great restaurant over in China Town.

Thanks for commenting, Jason!


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