Timber House Lodge - Where Keebler elves stay.

 love the Timber House Lodge. I bought this postcard from the Timber House Lodge for a dollar, which, in case you didn't know, is a pretty decent price for a weird old postcard from the sixties.

When I'm out on the road, having the Great American Vacation,  I don't want to stay at a place that looks like my house. I don't want to stay at a place that looks like a museum, either. I want to stay at  the weirdest place I can find!

The whole point of being on vacation is a break from the mundane. A getaway. To me, that means sleeping in a bizarre hotel with a theme whose execution borders on the frightening.

The Timber House Lodge is located in Chester California, near Lake Almanor, some kind of geographic body, possibly of water. Phil Are Go! would appreciate any roving field reporters verifying this lake's watery nature first hand. Also if you could snap some current pictures, that'd be good too. We would also like to announce that Phil Are Go! is now accepting applications for roving reporters. Roving experience rquired.
An intensive five minute Google investigation reveals that the THL still exists. Kudos on that. Existing is one of my top priorities for a motel getaway. Whether or not the interesting decor is still in place remains unconfirmed. Photos seem to be rare, save for this exterior shot.

 Screw the present. In 1969, the THL was a fibrous, termitic wonderland of variously displayed tree segments! Bar stools made of tree slices. Wood slabs on the walls. Massive hollow stump lamps hanging from the ceiling. Wups! Don't saw that tree down. That's a load-bearing log! In the winter, this place would be the perfect apres-ski rest stop. What better place to pour various boozes down your throat that a surreal loggy funhouse of a lounge? Stover mountain is nearby. I'm sure that was the meat of THL's business in the winter.

It may look corny and cheap, but this kind of effor is anything but easy. Go lift a log. Go on. I'll wait. See? They're heavy! Jim and Gena Hupp (the original proprietors) must have reeeealy wanted this to happen. I tried to make a few things out of logs before, and it's a lot of work. First off, they're not straight. Trees may generally grow in an "up" direction, but try to stick any two together at a right angle and I'll just wish you luck. Here's my top for getting a log to stand vertically. Hang it by the very top and dip it in a shallow pan of water. Trace the waterline with a marker and cut there. You've just found the log's vertical balance point. You're welcome. I've just told you how to do it. Now would someone please build a ridiculous tree hotel closer to Chicago? I need a vacation. I would also welcome the following insane themed hotels...

The Visible Hotel - Motor lodge with no drywall!
Deb's Hotel and Dry Storage - All food in powdered form. Every room rigorously dehumidified for your discomfort.
The Hobo Suites - Every room an alley. Every cigar stuck on a toothpick.
The Hospital - Looks like a hospital, Smells like a hospital. Half the price.
The War Room - Choose from WWI, WWII, or 100 Years War suites. Room service generously rationed. Bombings on the hour.
Donny's Day Care - Feel like a kid again at $100 nightly. Diapers optional.