Gould-National Batteries - Snowed in.

This week, Chicago is enjoying some especially non-wintery weather, so how about a post with snow in it? Gould-Natinoal Batteries' Mr. Big promises not to let you down on the coldest days.
This morning there was condensation on all the windows of P.A.G. HQ, which I'd never seen before. Walking outside was like crawling into someone's mouth. Hot, sticky, and pressing in from all sides. This is the kind of weather where you may fantasize about being set on fire, because at least a nice fire is dry, instead of oppressive and smothering. So, diving into one of the snow drifts that blocked the promenade of Go! Plaza, seemingly only yesterday was just a fever dream of my pre-sunrise commute.

Anyway, who's Gould-National Batteries? Just a company that exists, but without any real web presence. One of the first links that shows up on a Google search is a rather generic-looking page on CorporationWiki.com.

There are a few funny things about the picture, though. The car with Mr. Big in it seems to be plowing through the snow as if the battery gives it infinite traction and mass, while mortal cars are stuck. What does the cranking power of your battery have to do with driving through snow? I know, I know. It's advertising. Please stop thinking.

 Also, there's the little clip art man next to the huge battery. I scanned him at 1200 DPI and he started to look a little familiar. I know that blob is intended to be his mouth, but if you think of it as a moustache he begins to look a lot like Hitler in a zoo suit. Coincidence? Of course, idiot.

Clip art guy could be reused for other things, but first he'll need to be separated from his background. And, since he's so small, his detail tends to fall apart when you blow him up, so I traced him as vector art in Adobe Illustrator. What's that mean? It means he's just a guy made of dots an lines, baby. Just a guy made of dooots aaaand liiiiines. Enlarge his brains out and there's no jaggies. I'll post him as a good ols PNG on transparency, but anybody who wants the vector version can email us for an EPS (Blogger won't post an EPS file) that you can open in Flash, Illustrator, or even Autocad, so you can use a Flow-Jet or CNC machine to cut him out of a sheet of titanium, to stand in the yard for your child's birthday party. Rude finger graphic gift, coming right up. Right click and save, save, save.


Sue said...

That's RIGHT they're out of St. Paul, Minnesota! Where they don't know good food, but they know a good battery and have plenty of Mr. Bigs!!

(That Mr. Clip Art sure has some little feet. How does he not topple when his arms are spread out like that. Looks like a tightrope walker!)

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Aha! So Gould-National is located in St. Paul. Thanks for the field report, donchaknow, Sue!

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