Science marches Advancingly - The folly of tomorrow... today!

New "Multiplug" allows the use of one ungrounded outlet by up to six refrigerators or arc welders at once. Keeps cords high off the floor for easy tripping. Cord reel allows placement in center of large rooms. General ugliness allows ugliness in general. Production setbacks at factory will delay product release, due to mysterious fire.

New "Giant Miniature Train" finally brings employment to tens of really small train engineers. Enhances virginity of millions of normal-sized men. Secretly - SECRETLY - dreamed of by millions of non-virgins.

New "inverted pliers" jar opener basically opens rare un-threaded jars in same amount of time as a butter knife. Scientific community criticizes inventor for "totally missing the point of inventing things", savagely beats inventor for several minutes before pausing for breath, then resuming beating for additional several minutes. Victim was rumpled, but unhurt. Police report was filed. Reporting officer pretended to be taking notes on incident while actually doodling naked lady, wandered off while witnesses were still talking.

Inventor of new "cutlery tray" holds embarrassed press conference. "Cutlery tray" successfully holds cutlery. Inventor openly admits tray "not very invent-y", apologizes to bemused crowd.

New, surprisingly complex tool cleans blinds in just twice the time as feather duster. Inventor defends device as "having wingnuts".


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