New Products - From science's brain to your basement.

New Gigantic Glider-Kite. Protect your tank column or dispose of troublesome light person. Two or more may be used to deal with jerk of ample carriage. Business meaners only, please.

Comb-A-Trim. Previously available as "Coma Trim". Does not induce coma! Just cuts hair. Please order!

Pressure Queen portable air compressor. Through simple"modification", can be converted to Pressure King, which can spray standing up.

Mr. Walker action toy. Walks downstairs. Walks one or two at a time. Fun for boy or girl. Makes metallic sound. Thing. Thing. Wonderful coil. Everyone knows its Mr. Walker. Order today, before lawyers find our office.

Umbrella Hat Cover. Easy to make at home, but I can't be bothered. $1 buys plans to build mysterious plastic hat cover clearly described in detail in ad copy. Order now.


Aaron said...

I love how Mr. Walker walks downstairs. Upstairs? Not so much. This is opposed, of course, to "down stairs"... which has more to do with gravity than some inability to walk around on the upper floors of the house.

Craig F. said...

Great Northern Kite Mart in North Adams, Massachusetts.

You know what else was in North Adams? Nothing.

They should've called it "Passing Through" or "On My Way To Albany."

The mailman probably had to fight Indians to get your letter out there in the 1950s.

Craig F. said...

Comb-A-Trim also removes hair from legs - armpits.

No vaginas, though. Not until at least 1998.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Re: Aaron's comment. It also walked Upstairs Downstairs, The Paperchase, and Anne of Green Gables... brought to you by the Annenberg CPB Foundation, and viewers like you.

Re:CraigF's comment. Any dirty movie from the Seventies will back up your assertion... so I hear!


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