Homko Lawnmobile - Doing lawn donuts.

I never heard of Homko. It looks as though they're out of business, or they were bought out by Beatrice Foods or something and rolled into their Spreads and Condiments division and outsourced to Thailand. But look how happy this dad is on his luxurious lawnmower in this 1959 ad.
Homko is dead set on convincing us that this mower is like a car. Well, it's got four wheels and a motor, I guess. Well spotted, there.

I this journalist's opinion, one of the laziest names one can give a company is "something-co". A -co name proclaims to the world your lack of imagination. Best name for a company is the family name of the person who started it up. Soichiro Honda. Henry Ford. Charles Virgin Atlantic.

At the other end of the spectrum are the shittiest overdesigned names dreamed up by "naming companies". I'm not kidding. When a large company with more money than they know what to do with changes it's name due to horrible customer service, or just comes up with a new product, they sometimes hand over millions of dollars to a third party company who invents a stupid name for them. Often, these names sound like they were made up by the same douchebags that name paint colors (gentle harvest, sunset mallomar). Sometimes, they try to sound like a word or emotion that they would like you to associate with the product, but actually has nothing to do with it. Celebrex is an arthritis medication. Abilify is the market name for Aripiprazole, an anti-depressant. Xfinity is the new name Comcast came up with after they appeared on The Consumerist's most-hated company lists too often. Altria used to be Philip Morris, until one too many massive cancer settlements put a certain stink on the company image.

I have to remember that. When the feds come knocking on the door, demanding to know whether I paid any taxes on those illegally imported ostriches, I'll just tell them "Phil's not here any more. Meet Innocentstopher Jones! How are you guys?" Problem solved. Scott free. Hey wait! Scott Free is an even better name than Innocenstopher Jones. Gotta make a note to have an intern go back and change that for me.
Anyway, this "special needs" mower guy in the picture is looking mighty free and festive. Ah, The Fifties. Back then, you could look super happy, wearing highwater chinos  and no one would assume you're a high-functioning assisted living patient. People would just think things were going your way, like this mower guy. "Look at me honey! I'm driving! Ha-ha!". "Yes, dear, I see you."

Actually, with his super-long shifter (or blade height adjuster maybe), he sort of looks like Rat Fink, the cartoon rat who, I'm sure, this nerd never heard of. Also, Rat Fink wouldn't really appear in pop culture until 1963. Even after '63, I'll bet the lawnmower man, here, never moved in any of the same circles as Rat Fink types. But Lawrence Welk... definitely.


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