If your vessel is like mine, some of your subjugated crew are of varying physiologies and temperaments! Sometimes they choose not to consume the flesh of certain creatures due to barbaric superstition, or refuse nutrition as a form of passive aggression! Resistance is futile! Trick your crew into eating whatever you wish by disguising it as an acceptable creature cast in forbidden meat paste!
Begin your hilarious deception with the meat of a creature found to be unacceptable by your eaters! Any fauna will do, such as the Doe-Eyed Darling Faun, Questionable Tentacle Bird, or Insolent First Officer! First, kill your creature! Depending on your anger, you may choose to terrify your creature, before extinguishing its life! Also, you may have the skills to simply frighten your creature to death! Choose as you wish! Listen to your heart!
You will require a series of mesh screens of varying hole pitch! Once death has been given to your creature, cast about your ship for these screens! Consider dismantling your life support systems, as they often have filters and air returns containing filters, grilles, and wire grids! Collect your screens of varying hole pitch in your nutritional preparation chamber!
Begin with your coarsest screen - likely a grille from a ventilation duct! Force your creature through the grille with all strength, to be caught in a standard space bucket underneath the screen! Consider shouting during exertion of this type! It will help your eaters to appreciate the effort you put into their nutritional preparation! Collect your creature and choose a finer screen! Push the creature through the screen with many shoutings! So on in this fashion, you will progressively reduce the creature to a fine paste, ensuring that all parts are unrecognizable and of a smooth, anonymous texture! This is desired!
Now you must make the mold! Observe your galley's collection of creature molds, remembering to choose the form of a creature less abhorrent to your eaters than the one you have so recently pulverized! This is key to the violation of their sensibilities! The image presented in today's recipe is that of a standard fish, but depending on the disposition or culture of your eaters, the fish may seem hideous! Know your crew!
Pour your meat paste into the mold! Be cautioned that laughing during the meat pour is likely to create spills! Keep chuckling to a minimum! You may laugh in full, once the pour is complete!
Place your mold in a refrigeration unit for several hours, periodically shouting at it! This will help to evacuate air bubbles from the paste! It is required that texture be creamy and delightful! After refrigeration, summon your reluctant crew, and serve the meat casting garnished with arbitrarily chosen flora! It is important at this stage that you present the nutrient in a casual fashion, to avoid arousing suspicion! Tell them that they are not about to eat something horrible! If your preparations have been adequate, your crew will never know what they ingested! ...Until you tell them afterwards, during the recreational puppet show! BWAR har har har har har!
I am Oteogg! I have spoken!
Communication ends!
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