"Art thou constant like the moon, my dear?"
Though sad I was to decry the fairness of The Orb,
How luminous was my joy to proclaim the greater Truth!
My constance is like unto the Step-Jawed Tool Post!
Though my world be spun and thither, I am ever on center.For you are my center, my fulcrum, my point of zero rotation.
My love for you is resolute and firm and can abide great change, from one-half an inch to nine!
For the jaws of my love for you are stepped, like those of the Step-Jawed Tool Post.
And they will hold, these stepped-jaws of love, through internal or external flexion of their precision clamping mechanism, though they never mar your surface or smirch your edges.
My constancy is like unto the Step-Jawed Tool Post for I hold you in security, my dear,
nomatter your various diameters or composition.
Never doubt my constancy, dear heart, as you would never doubt the Step-Jawed Tool Post.
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3 comments:
hah! What on earth...? The poem was top drawer, Phil. But, what the heck does that tool even do? (besides lend itself to loving comparisons.)
Oh what JOY! It's like you had personally adjusted my very own knurled tensioner and eased it's rotation with the thoughtfulness of 3-In-1 penetrant!!
I beam on my cold-rolled steel shelf as one with re-forged serrations!!
Clampy
Thanks, Clampy and fil. Miss Austen's technical ruminations on love are a natural fit for P.A.G. We were thrilled to come across a first edition at the bottom of a garage sale box of early-century practical joke items. That box was a gold mine. P.A.G. staffers are still surprising each other with the "unwieldy pantaloons" found therein.
Please stay tuned for more of Austen's excerpts.
[-Mgmt.]
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