1966 Magnavoxes - What's on tonight?

Behold the 1966 Magnavoxes - console TV's positioning the screen six inches off the floor. Why? Because people were only two feet tall. You could pick one up for about $600. The average American income was $6900 per year. So, the price of a good Magnavox was 11% of the average income. In 2010, the average American made $46000. Imagine paying five thousand dollars for your TV. A lot of Magnavox customers woke up lying on the floor, after getting the bill for their new TV. So, it's nice that the screen was close to eye level for the newly-conscious owner.

So, what were we watching while we decided which child to sell? Well, there were only four and a half channels, back in '66. That was good, because you probably had to get up to change the channel. Good thing that A) the programming was so riveting and B) there wasn't a lot to choose from.

The Skating Lesson was far ahead of it's time. Decades before affordable video cameras made every loose stool a parental cinematic opportunity, you could watch a mother teach her daughter how to skate. Just want to see her in the middle school ice capades? You inhuman monster, you're supposed to watch footage of her buying the skates, unwrapping them, trying them on, exchanging them for the right size, learning to skate, arguing with her mother about the costume, showing up late to rehearsal for three weeks, and skating in the actual show. The footage of her sexual misadventures and ultimate divorce is already on FaceTube, so your '66 Magnavox can take a breather.

Before there was an ESPN channel for any activity participated in my more than two people, as well as a pre-and post-show with three men talking about those two guys playing catch, there was Johnny Skate. He was a wandering goalie for hire who roamed the ice rink solving crimes and making that shaved ice stuff go up in the air when he stopped. Who played Johnny Skate? It's hard to make out. We'll have to zoom in a bit. Enhance!

Well, it's clearly William Shatner. He was on everything in '66. Trouble is, he wore a red shirt in Johnny Skate, which explains why he died in every episode.

What's with all the skating in 1966? It must have been the tail end of an ice age. Also, some kind of lame pun about the cold war.

Up Your Guards was a very early BBC import show about the Buckingham Palace security team. It rose to number three in the Nielsons and held the spot for two years before anyone realized it was just a photograph. Good one, Britain! Cheeky devils. Learning nothing from the experience, Americans went on to make The Paper Chase a national hit. Good one, America!

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