One of the best TV shows that never got enough airplay was The Tick, with Patrick Warburton in the title role. The Tick once had a headache, and described it thusly: "It feels like my head is gonna have a baby!!!", and later on he told Arthur to stop mentioning the villain because "it makes the brain baby kick". Fox never aired The Tick in the same time slot twice and then, naturally, canceled the show because "it didn't have enough of an audience". I wonder why. It's hard for a show to gather a following if it teleports randomly around the schedule with no advance warning. If you have a debilitating brain injury, you can have a bright future in Fox TV management. Your interview will be on the third floor of Fox HQ, then moved to the ninth floor without anyone telling you. You will then be criticized for tardiness.
Anyway, Anacin wanted to help you with your headache in 1958, and they were not above a little photo retouching to make their point.
However, Anacin was above delicacy and skill when it came to art. They hired a perfectly normal model, asked him to squint, and then painted in facial creases that defy all knowledge of physiology. That's one hell of a headache.
Well, maybe I'm being a little harsh. This ad printed at about three inches high and subtlety just doesn't read through a halftone pattern at that scale. Also, they didn't have digital technology to help them paint at microscopic scale. But I do! Let me help! As
anyone on the internet can tell you, access to a copy of Photoshop qualifies you to use that copy of Photoshop and call yourself an artist!
Let's go in for a closer look at the situation. Hmm. There's work to be done here. That diagonal crease over the man's left eyebrow is pretty good, but some of the other lines unfortunately still make sense with our understanding of the human facial structure. Let's get to work!
Hmm. This is better, but all I've really done is darken the crevices that were already there. It's okay to start slow. I'm just warming up to the task. Let's see what other magic I can work.
He's looking pretty anguished now. All of his existing facial folds have been deepened to geological proportions, and I've added new fissures along fault lines that were never there before. This is better, but why stop at mere "improvement" when I can go for the gold?
Yes! That brain baby's kickin'! This ad is going to move a LOT of pills! I'm giving myself a raise! You're welcome, Anacin 1958!
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6 comments:
The Tick was a huge hit here. All 9 episodes can be streamed on Netflix.
" Come on buddy, don't be a cry baby be a try baby! "
Before Photoshop, Adobe offered 'Butchershop'. With the simple click of a switchblade, and some jabs to the model's face, ABS allowed for deep crevices to be made in the 'headache sufferer's' forehead, in far less time than previously required. Of course, most models found themselves out of work after taking on one of these jobs.
There was one notable exception. Against all odds, this chap was the star of many, many, many Anacin ads before becoming a star of the cinema:
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQyCg1OkgIhoamFYYwIKQrnYKAvhdqHE4tAb_IyXpSEps0o7aAt
That must be what a migraine feels like.
For a brief moment there, he looked like a black and white version of Ziggy Stardust
Hah! I can see that, nick.
https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRTpZIiTvDeUJGO3g7dkg9a_YhMfDUO2maMW_QIM0dwAE3uoH3z
Thank you all for your commentalization of today's thingy.
[-Mgmt.]
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