Bostitch Staplers - The new issue is out!

Finally! I've been waiting for the new issue of Bostitch Stapler Adventures for weeks, and the new action-packed issue is finally here! I hope they finally defeat their mortal enemy, Swingline Sam!

In the last issue, we left Andy Phetamine a little worried (but still impossibly happy) how he was going to fasten all his various items together in his flower shop. I lost a bit of sleep myself, hoping things worked out for Andy. Turns out the solution to all his problems was a Model B8 Bostitch Stapler! This I did not expect to see in the pages of Bostitch Stapler Adventures.
In panel one, we can see Joe the garage guy stapling his "sale" banner into the side of a building with a Bostitch B8. Wow! I had no idea a Bostitch B8 could staple concrete. Is there anything they can't staple? Joe knows his stuff. When Andy asks him how he's doing it, he has immediate recall of the manufacturer and model number of his Bostitch B8.

After that, Andy Phetamine (not surprisingly) gets all obsessed with Bostitch staplers. he starts seeing them everywhere, possibly coming out of the button holes on his shirt and crawling all over his body. He has to have one. He proclaims to all both of his employees that Bostitch staplers will now be used for everything they do. Making corsages, fasting his pants onto his pelvis, keeping his eyebrows nice and high, etc.

His (surprising) dot-eyed son wants some credit for noticing that Joe was hanging a sign, naturally. So Andy increases his allowance and further expresses his gratitude with a stapler. Now Dotface can staple too. One of his first thoughts is that he can staple for (very surprising) Mrs. Phetamine.

At the end, Andy recommends that we staple our hand: something that we can't really recommend. You can't hold it against Andy, though. He's got a lot on his mind. Pieces of dirt, fibers of thread, and molecules, for example. Man! I can't wait to see what happens in next month's issue of Bostitch Stapler Adventures.

Hey, you know what YOU need? You need a blank-word-bubble version of Andy Phetamine that you can print out again and again to do all your talking for you around the office. You can have Andy invite people to do things to themselves, or advise them as to which things could use some sucking, or recommend ways in which they may make more appropriate use of your time. You're super welcome!

Right click save, and print print print!

Click for big.


Michael Leddy said...

"From now on, we're stapling everything" sounds like something Zippy might say. It shall be my mantra.

sadoldgoth said...

Dad seems to have taken on vampyre dental features after handling that thing...

Steve Miller said...

Damn! my kid only does routers and networking stuff. It's no wonder my life is such a mess!

No, wait. I have my grandparents' Bostich stapler, which is mode out of, like, metal and all. So I'm cool. Back to stringing' that CAT-5, kid.

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