Exmess Card Solution, Part 1 of 2.

So you're gonna get Christmas cards made, or your family gives you the stinkeye like you're history's greatest monster. Hooray for Joyful Obligation and Judgement Season (JOJS)! It's a time of year when people have vague but definite expectations for each other. You won't know unless you fail. It's the best kind of test - the kind where you either pass and nothing happens or you fail and become a secret pariah. So, you stress out and bust your ass just to tread water. Whee. It's the moooost won-der-ful tiiime, ooof the yeeeeaaaarrrr!

But don't worry worry slightly less, because we've got your Exmess card solution, and it'll be cooler than some saccharine family photo with everyone wearing matching sweaters, or your dog with a hat on. Christmas cards from the turn of the (previous) century.

The Garage Sale Assault Squad raided the petty cash box this weekend and made an unauthorized purchase (They haff some 'splaining to do, Lucy!) of ten Christmas cards from roughly 1906 or thereabouts. It was a simpler time, when all we had to worry about was World War I just over the top of the next hill. People back then felt quaint, adorable emotions like "cheer" and "yuletide", whatever the hell that is. So, browse through these five designs and pick a favorite. Click the little one to see it full size (3.5 x 5.5 @ 300dpi) in a new window, and right click that MFer onto your hard drive for uploading to the printers. Tomorrow we'll post five more. This should leave you plenty of time to get them made and scribbled on, dodging just one of the many Joyful Obligation and Judgement Season bullets. You're welcome.

Christmas cards seem to have ballooned in size, right along with the P.I.T.A. factor of this holiday. This means that these cards are all of the slightly dinky 3.5" x 5.5" size. Do a Google search to find a printer online who can make you cards in this size. Not everyone offers it.

UPDATE: Looking at the back of these cards, it's amusing to note that, apparently, at one time you could get something delivered to the right person by simply writing "Mr. Earl Linderud, Stoughton, Wis." The  card addressed to Master Raymond Nolfe in Bronx, New York, however, needed a house number and street name. I guess larger cities needed more detailed address information, but in small-ish towns, a name was enough. Interesting, but true!

ALSO UPDATE: The printer will probably want to avoid cutting off the design at the edge of the card. This is called "bleed". The borders on these cards are generally pretty thin, and may look weird if it gets cut off. You may want to scale the design down a bit or do some Photoshop tricks to buy yourself some extra room at the edge of the card. I suggest maybe an additional border in a similar color to whatever is on the card.







Jim D. said...

Phil Are Go, you're my hero . . .
This is such an awesome idea, and I plan to use it! In exchange, I'll share my grandmother's best holiday idea. It's called "the snowshoe" and it consists of brandy and peppermint schnapps mixed 50/50 over ice. 2 snowshoes and you don't worry about family anymore. 3 snowshoes and you don' worry bout NUTHin.

Richard Mahler said...

Damn, Phil! Now you tell me! I spent nearly 30 years in Fortune 500 marketing graphic design and had to come with something to please the honchos year after year. Their taste was just awful. Looks like I could have saved myself a lot of time by mining the flea market for ideas from a simpler time. Seems nothing changes all that much - not even atrocious taste. Think I'll knock back a couple of Jim D.'s snowshoes and get into the old "what me worry?" Exmess mood!

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