Trade School Sonnets - Model 60 8" Jointer

I will make for my love a box
and fill it with my love.
Will he know? The box shall be empty.
I will fill it, using the Model 60 8 inch jointer.

No! It will not be empty!
It will have the flattest sides
and straightest edges
for, the infeed and outfeed tables
are mounted on dovetailed ways.

It will be full of perfect angles
or unmatched uniformity
for the fence is full-length
and self-aligning.

The faces shall have no flaw
to make him doubt me
for the motor is driven by non-slip V-belts.

O! He shall know that the box is not empty
but full! Full of my love!
If he looks, he will see.
If he feels, he will feel.
O yes! I will make for my love a box
with the Model 60 8" jointer.

Also available with 3-phase motor.


Jim D. said...

The 8" jointer.
I spent years lusting after one of those things. Then I spent years in a shop with one, and it was almost everything I had dreamed it would be. Then for a brief period of time I owned a Newman 12" jointer. Complete with 3-phase motor, a 5hp Westinghouse that weighed more than I did. I lovingly wired up a static phase converter,and polished both infeed and outfeed tables (the dovetailed ways included fully demountable gibs!)
The Newman put the 8" in the shade. Sure, you can snicker about 8" versus 12", but it was really the length of the infeed table that made the difference to me. It's almost too easy to flatten the first face on even the roughest, thickest oak when you don't have to focus on balancing the planks on a short infeed table.
Like all good things, my thing with the Newman came to an end . . . I sold it to some other happy man. Like a fool, I went out and bought a Delta 16", only to realize TOO LATE that it won't even fit in my shop.
So now my jointer waits in storage for a shop big enough, and I wish I'd just been satisfied with my 8" jointer.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Man, you had your heart broken over a jointer. The fact that you had the courage to tell your tale is moving, but not as moving as the thought of owning a 16" jointer. I feel faint. Get your new shop, Jim!


Steve Miller said...

Damn, now I get to experience jointer any, as I head out to use my 6" Powermatic. You've ruined my whole day, Jim D.

Steve Miller said...

BTW, the captcha for that last comment was "4242 assSUnit." I kid you not.

Steve Miller said...

"jointer envy"

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