Chicago Disappointment Parade - From the mists of time.

Some previously unlooked photos have washed up on the shores of The Present... flotsam of the swirling eddys of the universe of spacetime of auto shows, and from a time when it was so long ago we didn't even know what year it was. They're from 1953, '54, '56, and '60, and they were sent to The Present Day by alert reader and temporal adventurer Steve Miller. Thanks, Steve, whenever you are! Watch out for those rascals Hitler and Rasputin.

The Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade of 1953. Chairman of the Show, Prolapsed Pete, showcases Ford Motor
Company's answer to the desirable compact imports of that year, the Ford Thundersqueak. In this photo, he is about to
remove his pelvis and three vertebrae, prior to entering the vehicle. Fortunately, the Thundersqueak had a convenient
pelvis hanger for temporary storage while riding in the car.

At the 1954 Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade, future middle class trickle-downer Ronald Reagan proudly endorsed the 1954 Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight. The design for this model would remain unchanged until 2001, when a steering wheel was added.
The famously traditional Oldsmobile customer base responded poorly to this "pointless gadgetry".

The Pontiac Chieftain was a standout concept car at the 1956 Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade. The vehicle was pedal
powered, had no suspension, no heater, no radio, and no brakes. After the favorable response from show attendees, Pontiac's
product managers were stumped as to how to make the car horribly disappointing for production, so they just made the body panels out of paper and charged $6200 for it. Also, they punched each customer in the ear.

The 1960 Chicago Automotive Disappointment parade saw the introduction of "booth professionals", charismatic, friendly representatives who handed out brochures and recited marketing talking points through blank smiles. Baffled at the crowd's tepid reaction, auto makers would later introduce sexier outfits. Auto sales among the clergy skyrocketed.


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