Ford Wagons - Wagon Train.

Wagons are sort of coming back. Sort of. But because the word "wagon" is a dirty one in America, the marketing divisions of all the manufacturers (ever the wizards of tricking you into wanting something you think you don't) have re-named wagons "crossovers". Ding! Fixed! I've always liked a two-box design, so wagons just look good to me. Back in '65, wagons were long and low. The new wag- errr, CROSSOVERS... are taller than the wagons of old, in hopes of trying to borrow some of the cache' of the ever-pointless-and-popular SUV. Long and low is better. Just ask anyone, like me, for example. I'll tell you the same.

Aah, the timeless wonder of the American countryside. And that countryside is even better when it's printed on adhesive vinyl and stuck to the side of a car in the form of wood grain shelf paper. Somebody ought to modify an old "woodie" car like this Country Squire with a few small branches and leaves growing out of the "wood" panels. Or, someone should have the P.A.G. Graphic Blandishent and Photoshoppery Squad fake it up in the computer.

That'll have to wait, because the whole team were up late last night pen tooling and pattern brushing their little hearts out to get this quad-axle Country Squire ready for you to right click it onto your hard drive. They need a break today. Meanwhile, park this little beauty in your largest hard drive and watch the garage door totally fail to close because we added about six feet to the length. Wagon train!

Hey, what's with that kid in the back? Looks like his face was obscured in the original picture and they tried to reinstate his eyes in the office of his face with a couple dabs of black paint. Haha! 1965, your Photoshopping kung fu is no match for mine, here in The Future! I defeat you! Pow!

get your rude finger ready to right click the Country Squire Wagon Train in three, two, one.... RIGHT CLICK NOW! You're welcome.

Click for big.

Click for big.



Fil said...

The child in question is the offspring of a human and one of those marshmallow 'Peeps'.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

In that case, there is no car long enough to place this unforgivably hideous (though delicious) monster child a comfortable distance from me! Get thee gone, marshmallow larvae! You are forever banished from my Country Squire!


Anonymous said...

Perhaps, Phil- it is a child from the planet Skyron of the Andromeda Galaxy. Hmmm?


Fil said...

I wonder how the 'built-in wind deflectors' on the Ford wagon keep the window clean. My windshield is dirty as hell and it has 65+ mph winds hitting it head-on every day.

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