Eye Test

Joke #1 - "Well, the good news is, according to this orrery, you're definitely not the moon. Are you sure you orbit the Earth at a mean distance of 385,ooo kilometers and were formed 4.5 billion years ago after an impact with the Earth?"

Joke #2 - "Yes, that is correct. The bottom line of text says 'yarrr'."

Joke #3 - "Your vision should return in a couple of weeks, during which time, you'll need to wear this simple gyroscope apparatus. Don't worry. After a few hours, you won't even notice it anymore... Err, I mean, you won't even notice your HEAD any more."

Joke #4 - "Hm! Turns out, your skull is slightly out of balance. I can fix it by bolting on a couple of little weights, or you can just try to keep it under two thousand RPM for a few months."

Joke #5 - "I have bad news. Your eye patch has terrible vision. You should probably try seeing with your eye from now on."

Joke #6 - "Okay, now hold very still while the laser warms up. If you move, we risk burning a hole in our favorite sleepy kitten poster, and I don't think you want that."

Joke #7 comes to us on the sub-etha wave band around the galaxy, around the clock from MisterFancyHotblackDesiato_2. To everyone else out there, the secret is to keep banging those rocks together, guys! - "Now Zaphod, tell us where the 'Heart of Gold' is & I won't poke your good eye with this really long stick"

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.  -Mgmt.]

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